Look To the Western Sky

A blog about single life as a parent & the dreams of a writer by Margo L. Dill

Practical Moms Unite!

Here it is. My new series on the blog–Practical Moms Unite.

Every time you see this symbol, you will know that a Practical Moms Unite post is coming! 🙂

So what is a practical mom (parent, dad, grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc, etc)? I’m focusing on practical moms because that is what I know best. But this does not mean I am excluding any of these other most-important roles. Anyway…

The definition of a Practical Parent is:

An adult who cares for a child/teen 17 or younger and who also keeps the big goal in mind. It is a person who tries NOT to allow little, unimportant, keeping-up-with-the-Joneses details get in the way of everyday living. It is remembering what being a parent should mean AND remembering who YOU are as a person (and that is not just a parent).

Let’s break it down a little!

  • What is the big goal? I would guess we all have specific different goals for ourselves and our children. But most of them probably fall somewhere in the range of: We want our children to grow up to be productive members of society as well as being kind, loving and successful people.  For example: if this is the goal, is it really that crucial to get those Troll cupcakes for the 3-year-old birthday party if you can’t afford them?
  • What are little, unimportant, keeping-up-with-the-Joneses details? Anything that causes you great anxiety that does not fall in line with the goal. These are a lot of the unnecessary pressures we put on ourselves as parents, like instead of bringing a bag of cuties and cheese sticks when it’s your turn for the soccer game snack, you spend hours on Pinterest to find a cute idea for soccer snacks and stay up til midnight making them.
  • What should being a parent mean? Again, we all have different definitions, but my guess is most of you will agree that being a parent means loving your child with your whole heart, providing boundaries for them to learn and be successful in, and fulfilling their basic survival needs. Maybe that sounds too simple. There are thousands of children that don’t get those things, so it’s not that simple.
  • What does it mean remembering who you are as a person? This is the problem with social media. We compare ourselves to what everyone else is doing. When you look at your friend list, you can pick out the baker, the crafty one, the smart mom, the athletic one–this might be you, but it might not. SO then why do you expect to parent like all these friends? How many of us have seen a photo of someone doing something on Facebook or Instagram and thought: I should be doing that with my child. But should you? Do you like to bake? If yes, great, then make a birthday cake with your child. If not, then buy it at Walmart. You don’t have to make yourself miserable to be a good parent.

I don’t want to alienate anyone who loves to make crafts or throw themed-parties. If you LOVE that, if you get ENERGY from it, then my point is you should do it. But if you don’t, as a practical parent, don’t beat yourself up over it. Your child doesn’t have to have that to reach the big goal. 

So that’s a little take on Practical Moms Unite.

What’s your big goal as a parent or grandparent?

What do you like to do with your child? or for your child?

 

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6 Comments

  1. Sounds like great advice to would apply equally to many people-like writers. 🙂

  2. Brandi Schmidt

    May 1, 2017 at 12:08 pm

    Totally agree. I do love crafts, but sometimes I am burnt out. My daughter is having her first communion and I “should” pintrest and plan a great party, but we are going to a sweet tea room instead. I’d rather someone else prepare the food! Although I am throwing her a glamping party this month, but that is something I really love too. It’s a fine balance between time, energy, and need. I need to ask myself more…do my girls really “need” this or that? Thanks for the post and the reminder.

    • luvboxerdogs

      May 21, 2017 at 8:04 am

      Brandi:
      I see everything you do on Facebook, and it is easy to see that you give your all in every way to your family and try to keep your creative side alive too. 🙂 It is definitely a fine balance–and we have to keep our cup full too, as single mothers.

  3. It is so important to remember “Parent” is not your total identity.

    • luvboxerdogs

      May 21, 2017 at 8:05 am

      YES! Judy, such a simple way to say that. I think I need to steal your line there and have it put on a t-shirt for my friends. 🙂

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