In our lives, we make connections with all kinds of people. Some are like us. Some are definitely not. Some stick around for a long time. Some just touch our lives for a bit. Some people positively affect us and bring us great comfort, joy, peace, and support. Unfortunately, some people bring us down to a level that maybe we didn’t know was possible. Maybe we are faced with regret over decisions we made when this person was in our lives. Life is so hard. So many things are beyond our control. But the one thing I do know, the one thing that I can control, and the one thing that I need to do more of is nurture the relationships that bring me comfort, joy, peace and support, and let the other ones go.
This is a very, very hard concept for me. It sounds so simple. I summed it up in one paragraph above, so how can it not be simple? But it’s difficult because we get into patterns. We form loyalties. We have little time each day, and when we are in the middle of a storm, it is very hard to fight through and come out the other side.
But I have to fight. I have to look at my life every single day; and if something isn’t going well, I am the only person who can change it. When I reflect on myself and my behavior at the end of the day, can I say that I was kind, supportive, positive, and nurtured the relationships with people who really care about me? I hope so.
I have a very good friend, who is very ill. And this post is inspired somewhat by her and somewhat by friends who are going through a hard time. I’ve said this several times today: every life is so precious. It is also so hard, but the best part of it, the very very best part of it, is the relationships we have. I am a very lucky girl to have so many wonderful relationships in my life. I haven’t always been the best about nurturing each one the way I should. Time gets away from us. Life becomes busy. My spirit grows tired.
In the conversations I’ve had over the past few days, one of the most poignant things someone said to me is: There is no sense worrying about something beyond one’s control.
It’s not like I don’t know this. And still I sit here in a Panera Bread, just full of grief and regret and worrying about things I can’t control.
The best thing I can do from this is be a more gracious and understanding friend to the people in my life now. This is the only thing I can control.