This is an excerpt from a post originally published on WOW! Women On Writing‘s blog at http://muffin.wow-womenonwriting.com/2016/06/an-honest-look-at-when-life-gets-in-way.html on June 16, 2016.
What’s the problem?
Life is the problem. As I’ve discussed before on this blog, this past year, my husband and I have been going through a divorce, and this is the absolute hardest thing that has ever happened to me. If you are divorced, then at this time you are probably nodding your head. It has completely changed my writing and reading life, and I have been slowly trying to find my way back.
So as I was constructing a “helpful” post on dialogue last night and earlier today, I was thinking: maybe it would be better just to be honest with [WOW!] readers. When I am honest on Facebook about my life and feelings (without oversharing–of course–or being vague–which everyone hates), a lot of people respond.
How do we as creative people, as writers, get through emotional times? Some of you probably write and journal. Journal writing doesn’t work for me. Yes, I write down what I am going through in messages, emails, and texts to my friends. This form of communication actually works quite well for me. It is much easier for me to have an instant message conversation with my best friends than sometimes to have an actual conversation. It’s a form of writing, and I’m sure since I am a writer, this is why I find IM so helpful.
I also have plans to start a blog full of non-fiction, self-help, memoir-type posts, but finding the time and energy to do that has so far eluded me.
I am tired, fellow writers. I am full of anxiety and angst. I feel I have little direction. I thought I was out of “survival mode,” and recently, tried to do some things to work toward a better future, but I’m not there. I am still in survival mode–just getting by day by day as best I can.
I can’t think about finishing my middle-grade novel still. I can barely pick up a book to read. At night, I have all sorts of books on my nightstand calling out to me, and I feel like I don’t even have the energy to invest in someone’s wonderful story.
Don’t get me wrong. I am functioning. Every day is not terrible. I have a beautiful, smart, funny 5-year-old daughter whom I love spending time with. I have amazing friends and parents. I love teaching my WOW! Women On Writing novel classes, and I LOVE helping my editing clients–so I am going to keep doing these things, while I also try with baby steps to get back to what my true passion is–writing and reading. I also like my full-time job, which has to do with proofreading, graphic design, and marketing. So yeah, the left side of my brain is doing all right. It’s the right side that needs some time and TLC, I guess.
So I have no idea if anyone reading this who is also a writer, painter, illustrator, sculptor, musician, etc feels this way or has ever felt this way. But you are not alone. And if you’ve already been through a journey like mine and you are on the other side, I would love to hear about things that helped you.